There is a proverb “Actions speak louder than words”, what does it mean? It simply means our body tries to explain more about us than the words we speak. This happens because, we may even lie as many times as possible but the actions can never be faked. Yes ofcourse celebrities do so but it is only for the sake of acting in front of camera. Even in their real life, they will also have the same common thing. There are some of the actions which are very highlighted but are easily ignored by everyone. Just like language is made of words and sentences, so is body language made up of words and sentences.
Body language is main thing which reveals most about humans. In body language, it is classified under so many categories but I want to highlight only on some of them.
First is “Proxemics”. Proxemics is the space that you like to have between you and someone your talking to. This space is not common to all and changes with the person you are talking to or watching someone. If you like some one and you are standing in front of them the space between you two will be quite less because of interest and happiness. This is also applicable to non living things, animals and also to groups. It can also be called as a hidden dimension.
If you like someone, the gap between you and that person or thing will be around 15-45 centimetres ( not exact ). Similarly if you don’t like someone or if you are scared of something, you try to keep as much distance as possible. It is controlled by your mind. It starts to create a kind of reaction when you see someone or something. If you like pets, you try to be around them where as if you are scared of pets, you try to avoid them and stay as far as possible. Now there is also something where you try to maintain some gap even though you like the person. This shows you don’t want to mingle with them or some part of their action is hindering you go closer to them. At this point, you try to ignore the person even if you are with them or subconsciously try to make an action which indicates you are not interested like folding your hands or try to look away or using your phone and many things. These things may not come to the notice of many but the one who knows about body language will definitely understand everything.
Next is Oculesics or eye moment. This is something which most of them won’t understand easily but the eye moment reveal more about you and reveals what you are trying to say and convey are the same or no. The moment of eye also controls the muscles around your eye. You can check yourself in front of a mirror by making eye movements. When you smile or get angry, there is a lot of change in eye movement and muscles around it. The interviewer are kind of trained in these matter and they easily make it out whether you are telling the truth or no just by the movement of your eyes. When you are confident enough when you talk, you never try to look around and always keep an eye contact with the person in front of you but when you feel inferior, you try to cut the eye contact and look on something that tries to disturb the communication between you.
These disturbances would be like ticking of clock or if someone drops in, or many other small things. This happens even when you are over confident. When you feel you are very smart and know everything, the expression around your eyes changes or you subconsciously raise your eyebrows. When you try to imagine something and say to the person, your eyes move towards upper left and when you try to recall something from past, the eyes move towards upper right. When you try to recall some songs or music, you tend to look left centre and when you feel inferior, lonely and start talking to yourself, your eyes move lower left. Similarly when you try to recall a feeling whether happy or sad you tend to look lower right and when you feel frustrated, the eye lids will slower the process of closing you eyes and you exhale loudly.
These are very small things that reveal so much just by the movement of your eyes and most of the people won’t even understand these things. One can try to control these actions but they cannot perfect it. This happens because these actions are controlled subconsciously and you won’t recognise that you are making some actions. Just by your eye moment one can even make out what are you thinking. Similarly the eyebrows also communicate. One thing which I want to mention here is, when you try to explain some one about something, your eyebrows move up but if it’s vise versa, your eyebrows move down and try to concentrate.
The next one is “Kinesics”. An annotation for body movements and gestures. This is the actual body language. These are movements you make consciously and also subconsciously. Conscious movements are those when you try to communicate without any words like and hand movements when some one leaves, thumbs up when you wish someone luck, or raising your hand to symbolise angry or to beat and many more. These are controlled actions but those which are uncontrolled are subconscious actions. These are like making legs movements while listening to someone, trying to comfort yourself on the seat when you are not interested, scratching your head when are not able to understand, shoulder movements and many more. These are the actions which tell more about you unknowingly. One can try to avoid as much as possible but when you are irritated or under pressure, these actions will come up unknowingly.
There are many other things like chromatics, Haptics etc but the above said are very common and needs to be addressed quickly. First of all, you tend to make these actions only when you think of something else and try to avoid that is in front of you, try to overthink on something, or scared. At these situations, your body tries to reveal the feeling which you are having inside. When these actions come up soon, this means your mind is not able to handle pressure or your mind is not suitable to the present situation. This is because your mind is weak. You may be physically strong but if your mind doesn’t support you back, you cannot stand up to the mark.
The best way to control these actions is to train your mind. You may not be able to avoid them fully but can control them. This will also boost the confidence. Training your mind means to keep it active and avoid thinking something else and concentrate on what you are working or listening. Students have these problem because they don’t like studying. They may tend to read the books but the mind will not support and start thinking something else. That’s the reason they won’t remember anything even though they have read it completely. When you have the control on your mind, the power of concentration also increases.
The best way to train you mind is to analyse everything that is infront of you and concentrate only on that part. Even if you get diverted, try to come back quickly. Read as many books as possible and stay active. Activities which keep you busy will not let you think on some other things. Try to concentrate even if you don’t like it, try to keep yourself stable when you feel pressurised, concentrate on your movements by practising in front of mirror. Try listening to music which has a good role to play in our life.
Try and keep motivating yourself, self motivation makes you tougher than any other things. Keep yourself active and have control on your mind.